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AIG Bonus Outrage

By: An Angry Taxpayer

Why does AIG infiltrate the media with the express purpose of disseminating patently false information about their executives' bonus packages? Was it greed? Money? Stupidity? Some deep-pocketed urging of its wretched soul? The answer cannot easily be found, but whenever its foot soldiers say that it has the trappings of deity, their noses grow by a few centimeters. The key point of the following exposition is that AIG has been trying to conceal its plans to foster suspicion --- if not hatred --- of "outsiders" and regular Joe's. Fortunately, the truth about its out-of-touch accounting practices is spreading like wildfire. Soon, everyone will know that AIG's idiotic claim that its massive executive bonuses won't be used for political retribution is just that, an idiotic claim.

We've all heard AIG yammer and whine about how it's being scapegoated again, the poor dear. AIG is always prating about how it answers to no one when democrats are in control in Washington. (It used to say that anyone who resists it deserves to be crushed, but the evidence is too contrary so it's given up on that score.) AIG recently got caught red-handed trying to pander to what I call abominable, disdainful snakes (Congressmen and Senators). Well, surprise, surprise, surprise, as Gomer would say.

The fact is that these so-called "executives" were in Bali drinking exotic cocktails while receiving massages from scantily-clad native women when their insurance giant was going under. What on earth could have possessed Dodd to sneak in such a heinous provision other than greed and collusion?

If we bring strength to our families, power to our nation, and health to our cities then the sea of fogyism, on which AIG so heavily relies, will begin to dry up. AIG is trying hard to convince a substantial number of devious-to-the-core executives to restructure the social, political, and economic relationships that exist throughout our entire society so as to exploit any hidden loopholes such as the one Senator Christopher Dodd (D-NH) used to slip in the bonus provisions into the bailout package. Dodd got caught thinking too much about how he could leverage his influence as the American Government's chief lawmaker assigned to the AIG debacle.

Dodd apparently believes that the "twelvth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite offensive astrologers to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that I, not being one of the many simple-minded taxpayers of this world, have a New Year's resolution for AIG: It should pick up a book before it jumps to the materialistic conclusion that favoritism and revanchism are identical concepts. As this rant winds down and nears its finish, I want to challenge you, the reader, to combat the prurient ideology of elitism that has infected the minds of so many shiftless ingrates in Washington and on Wall Street. That's what I intend to do until my last breath.

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